A muggle-born’s sibling sends them a howler in the middle of the school year and it arrives while they eat. When they open it, all it does is simply scream “WHAT TEAM?”. Nearly all the muggle-borns shout “WILDCATS!” before returning to their meal, leaving the pure-bloods in total confusion of what the hell they just witnessed.
I accept and fully support this headcanon
It’s amazing how many characters Jared has played in only one show
And how, it’s noticeable when it’s NOT Sam. How do you do that sir, because that is quite impressive.
i touched a dick once and it was the scariest thing in my life because it had a really cold head and i don’t know it wasn’t fun
sometimes the ‘i’ and ‘u’ shouldn’t be so close on the keyboard
ive seen this post umpteen times and ive always thought that if you switched u and i around it wouldn’t make sense like “u touched a” and i literally just realised you meant duck and not dick i swear to god i am the biggest fucking idiot.
pansexuals will steal your girl, your man, your non-binary romantic partner, your car, your bank account PIN number, and your cat.
WHAT DO YOU CALL A FAKE ENEMY
This is the best thing I will ever attribute to this website and I get nothing
"average person experiences twenty-one devastating personal tragedies per year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person experiences 0 devastating personal tragedies per year. Hatake Kakashi, who is an emotional fucking train wreck & experiences over 10,000 devastating tragedies every day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
- DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
- Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
- DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
- Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
- DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
- Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
- DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
- Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
- DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
- Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
- DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
- Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
- DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
- Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
- DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
- Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
- DC: Wait-
- Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
- DC: I didn't-
- Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
- Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
- Marvel: PEACE
Do you think directors get sad when they realize they will never make a more perfect action sequence than the castle siege set to “I Need A Hero” from Shrek 2?
one time my parents had an argument because my dad bought a bald cap for $2.70 but he was already bald
I may not be 5 gum but I can still stimulate your senses.
i was cuddling this guy once n he had his head on my chest n just whispered “what did you just think about?” and i went “netflix” becus i was thinkin about netflix and he just went
"oh. your heart sped up and i… ok"
things literally everyone, regardless of gender, looks good in:
- lacy lingerie
why are my parents always like “go to bed.” i am in bed. im always in bed. you go to bed. stop talking to me.